Mary Janes, anyone?

Mr. Jelly Belly and I were in the check-out line of the grocery store the other day (and, by the way, don’t ever ask your significant other if they want to “come with” without first ascertaining exactly how long it’s been since they’ve eaten – egads! talk about an inflated grocery bill) when I spotted Teaberry gum.

Now Teaberry gum was always a given at my grandparents’ house. I think they must have been gumaholics. They had lots of it - probably to get that Chesterfield unfiltered taste out of their mouths.

Anyway, we looked forward to raiding their stash, which also included Beeman’s, (we couldn’t jam that into our little cavity-ridden mouths fast enough), and Blackjack. Umm, what can I say about Blackjack gum? I loved my grandparents but, really, who the heck in their right mind wants to chew gum that tastes like licorice? That part of their stash was pretty safe from us.

So back to the grocery store. Looking past the Teaberry, I realized that there were five or six different items that we used to call “penny candy”. What fun! It sure wasn’t a penny anymore, but there it was.

There were candy dots on strips of paper - remember how you could never get the candy off of there without eating paper with it? And you didn’t care? And candy necklackes – or bracelets, depending on the size of your neck, I guess.

They had five-packs of wax bottles filled with some Kool-Aid like concoction. We used to bite the tops off, suck out the disgusting liquid and toss the bottles. Only after we tried to eat them, of course, and learned pretty quickly that they weren’t all that tasty.

They had those coconut things that were in strips of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry that apparently have no name other than “coconut slices.” Mr. Jelly Belly promptly grabbed those up and threw them in the cart, along with the little round caramel things with the disgustingly sweet white filling in the middle. The disgusting centers were always my favorite part.

They had Bazooka bubble gum, but you couldn’t buy an individual piece like we used to. Now it comes in a box of 25. Hmmm, I wonder what Bazooka Joe is up to these days? And if he ever got a decent sweater.

And Necco wafers! I was almost tempted to grab those, but I didn’t think my sister would come over to play “First Communion” with me like we used to. But, then again, she just might.

It’s funny to think how much I used to enjoy those things. And now it makes my teeth hurt just to think about them. But, truth be told, if they would have had wax lips, I would have totally bought them. And embarrassed poor Mr. Jelly Belly by putting them on for the ride home.