Oh those ugly feet

Since we started this skin care mini-series at the top of our heads, it seems only fitting that we should end it at the bottom of our feets. Our dry, callused, ugly feet. Well, my feet are ugly. The world's ugliest, even. Yours maybe not so much.

To keep my feet only slightly ugly, rather than the hideously ugly they become when ignored, I used to use one of those razor things that shaves off the calluses and other rough spots. You know the one. It looks like this:

Or you can get disposable ones now, like these ones made by Tweezerman (4 for about $8):
There are a couple of problems with this thing. First, your foot has to be damp. Which means the only time you can do it is when you've just stepped out of the shower. Inconvenient. Of course, you could soak your feet for 15 minutes or so at a more convenient point during the day. I really don't see that happening all too very often. Or ever.

Secondly, you have to make sure that you angle your damp foot over a trash can, or some other receptacle you've designated as the shavings catcher. It can get messy. Especially if it's been a while.

Finally, that thing can be dangerous. Especially if you get a little overzealous because you are secretly kind of enjoying all the slivers of dry, dead skin dropping into your trash can. You might bleed. And limp for days.

I have found the perfect replacement product for that dangerous blade. It's called the Microplane Orb Foot File and it looks like this:

The beauty of this product is that it allows you to "clean up" your feet anywhere, anytime. I use it in my family room while I'm watching tv, for pete's sake. And nobody around me finds it gross. Well, except for the having to look at my bare feet part.

Here’s the fun part: The "shavings" drop into the unit where they stay stored until you empty it. Nobody has to see them at all. And, as you may have gathered, your feet do not have to be damp. Dry as a bone is the recommended state of your feet before microplaning.

For only $17.95 and a few minutes of your time, your feet will be nice and soft and amazing. No ugly cracked skin. And you can throw away that pumice stone.

I saw an infomercial recently for a knock-off version of the Microplane Orb, called the Ped Egg:

At 2 for $10, it’s definitely cheaper, but I really can’t say if it works as well as the Microplane version, as I have never tried it. But the reviews for it seem to be good, so it might be worth a try.

After you get all the ugly stuff off of your dawgs, you want to slather on a moisturizer and put on some white socks. Or spa socks are fun. So you don’t walk all over your carpeting collecting lint and dog hair and God knows what else on your newly buffed and moisturized feet.

Taking a few small steps to save your feet over the winter months will help you avoid springtime panic when you bring those flip flops back out.

So that concludes my skincare mini series. Tomorrow, back to our regularly scheduled programming.