It all started with a cookie

Sunday, July 20, 2008

When I think back to the exact moment when it all started to go so horribly wrong, I am reminded of a Taxi episode in which, ironically, all the main characters recounted a point in their life where they were at a crossroads and how the choice they made changed everything.

Reverend Jim Ignatowski’s story centered around a time when he was a young, studious and dare I say, sober, student at Harvard. His classmates were enjoying their marijuana in the best possible way (baked in brownies) and imploring the young Jim to “try just one”. He steadily resisted but finally succumbed to the peer pressure.
At the very first bite, his eyes opened wide and his entire countenance changed from straight-laced and serious to the dazed and confused expression we have all grown to know and love.

It was December of 2006. At this point, I had been totally off white flour and sugar for months; it was not even a struggle to stay away from it. And then...[cue up dramatic music] Mr. Jelly Belly received the ever-so-thoughtful holiday gift of ridiculously huge chocolate chip cookies packaged in a charming wooden box. I am certain this gift came directly from Satan.

I had convinced myself long ago that there was no need to eat something that wasn’t anything special just because it looked good. I knew there would always be ample opportunity to have it another time. But these! These were not your average run-of-the-mill Chips Ahoy variety of chocolate chip cookies. They rose far above “special”!

Oh, It was a thing of decadent beauty; chock-full of white flour and refined sugar yumminess. So I made a decision I would live to regret: I decided to have “just one”. [Note that I did not decide to have “just a bite” or “half of one”.]

I took a bite and I swear I immediately felt my face slide into a sloppy, slack-jawed "Reverend Jim" expression. It was just that fast.
Several hours later, when everyone had gone to bed, I heard my name being whispered from across the room. The devil’s cookies were beckoning…so I had another. And then, the next day, yet another.

This was the beginning of the end.