Sometimes I HATE people...

Monday, July 28, 2008

When someone has lost weight, or is in the process of losing weight, why do people feel as if it’s their God-given right to give their unsolicited opinions on every aspect of it?

Most civilized people would never come up to an overweight person and say something like, “Oh my God…don’t you think you’ve gained ENOUGH weight?” But these same people have absolutely no problem asking the opposite of someone who is losing weight.

When I was originally in the losing process, I dealt with this kind of crap from people in my office literally every single day. EVERY day. It got really old, really fast. I worked extremely hard to get that weight off and was feeling pretty good about myself, but each day I had to clench my teeth and wait to hear what the next thoughtless comment was going to be.

Everything I ate at lunch was inspected and commented on – and the comments were rarely complimentary. Yes, I know it seems like an odd combination. Yes, I know it looks funny. Yes, I’m positive you would never eat “that crap”…I can tell by your waistline. (Okay, I know that was mean but sometimes I am forced into this bad attitude.)

I was asked on several occasions to reveal “exactly” how much I weighed. I was asked what size clothes I was wearing. I was “accused” of losing even more weight. One man even looked at me and said (and I only wish I was kidding), “My God! Are you sick?” Aaaargh. Just for the record, I never looked sick.

This all came back to me this afternoon when I was sitting in my office, minding my own business, and eating my favorite 3:00 pm snack of yogurt mixed with Fiber One cereal. This guy comes bursting into my office, looks at what I’m eating and says, “Oh my God, that looks disgusting!” I felt that familiar clenching of my teeth and I wanted to throw it at him but, instead, politely reminded him that I didn’t invite him to come in. I may have shot him the evil eye as well, but I don’t really remember.

So I guess the point of this rant is that if you know someone who is successfully losing weight, certainly you should offer your congratulations, support and encouragement, but please try to think about what you say beyond that. Nobody should have to be made to feel badly about themselves for successfully reaching their goals.


midlife mommy said...

OMG -- are you KIDDING? I've lost a lot of weight (in my past, not now, sigh), but no one ever asked how much I weighed or what my size was! I would probably say, "you must be kidding." Or else I would be speechless. Yikes.

What's wrong with yogurt? Did he really inspect inside the yogurt container to see the cereal? What a tool!

You know, I probably get around this problem because I eat in my office, and everyone knows that I'm trying to do the NS thing. Most of them struggle with weight issues as well, but I like to think that they don't say bad things because they are genuinely nice people.

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

I suppose if I had any guts I would have given the standard Dear Abby response to those questions: "Now why do you need to know that, dear?"

Actually, I bring the cereal in a little bowl then dump the yogurt in it and mix it up - the container's too small to mix in.

Mostly these people are nice as well; but I am certain they are talking about my recent gain - but THAT they would never do directly to my face.

Melissa S. said...

When I reached my goal weight someone asked me "what size are those jeans??" and (since this was a "good" friend) I said a 2. She kindly replied, "that's disgusting!"


Melissa S. said...

Oh, then proceeded to tell me to "eat a burger".

I should note she is perpetually 30-40lbs overweight and is made to feel like crap about it from her boyfriend.

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

What is WRONG with people? One of Mr. Jelly Belly's co-workers told him that I was "lucky" to lose all that weight. Like it was easy and I won the weight loss lottery.

Cyndi said...

I hope I will hit that lottery soon. ;) People can summon up rude and inappropriate comments on just about everything. Why should your smokin' bod be immune? :D