Flashback 2005: A frightening resemblance

Here is a rather lovely picture of a matronly looking woman and her handsome son. Note the woman has no collarbone, but several chins.

What the picture does not show is the one-piece spandex undergarment of torture the woman is wearing to control fat that refuses to be controlled. The woman is packed into the undergarment so tightly and smoothly that her skirt has no waistline on which to hang. The skirt continually slides.

When the woman views the picture later, she knows she is reminded of someone (other than her mother) but cannot quite place it. Then it comes to her.


She is appalled and wonders how she got this fat. She wonders this while eating a Boston cream donut. This is the moment Mrs. Jelly Belly decides a relationship with Weight Watchers might be in order. Like every other chubby person on the planet, she vows to begin right after the holidays.

Starting weight: 164