Can we even LIVE without the acai berry?

You know, you just can’t swing a cat around the internet these days without hitting an ad guaranteeing the loss of 30 pounds in 30 days via the miracle of the acai berry.

Besides the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to pronounce that, I also realized I have just been blah-blah-blah-ing myself past any articles or advertisements that mention it. Because rolling my eyes so hard is sometimes painful. So I decided the time had come to look it up.

First, I looked up the pronunciation. Ah-sigh-EE – okay, that feels very awkward. I think I’ll stick with my original mispronunciation of eye-KAY-uh…like IKEA, in a dyslexic sort of way.

The first thing you should know is you cannot trust any information you pick up via a Google search for “acai berry”. Every single link has THE ONLY PRODUCT guaranteed to work. They almost all throw around the names of Oprah, Rachael Ray, Dr. Oz, Gwyneth Paltrow and/or Summer Redstone – whoever the heck that is – as if they have given their personal endorsement. Oprah’s lawyers are reportedly not amused.

Also, for the record, I would never buy anything from a website that consistently uses “it’s” when it means “its” – for example, “known for it’s healing properties, scientists recently discovered it’s many benefits…” [Jelly Belly grammar tip – if you can’t replace the “it’s” with “it is”, then drop the dang apostrophe]. But that may just be me.

Grammar rant aside, I only wanted basic information, so I sifted through the crap (and lots of it) and found the following:

What it is: The acai berry is a tiny black fruit. It comes from South America, via a special Amazon palm tree that is harvested in the rainforests of Brazil. The berry has a very short post-harvest life which is why, unless you live in the rainforests of Brazil, you can only get it in the form of juice or pulp. Which is probably also the justification for its ungodly price.

The claims: Touted as having the highest antioxidant content of any food, together with a high (non-specified) fiber content, the acai berry is being hailed as a cure all – this tiny little berry is purported to provide increased energy, improved sexual performance, sleep, digestion, and skin appearance. It will also strengthen your immune system, fight cancer, improve circulation, slow down the aging process, improve heart health, reduce cholesterol levels and detoxify your system.

As if all that weren’t enough, some sites claim you can expect to reverse diabetes and other chronic illnesses. Men can look forward to an increase in penis size and virility and (duh!) become more sexually attractive to women.

But let’s not forget its most important benefit: Weight loss. Oh, yes – it will make you lose weight. All you have to do is send for your “free” trial offer of the supplement, cut out all sugar and fried foods, avoid processed foods, drink lots of water, exercise 3-5 times per week and watch the pounds melt off. It’s a miracle! (Click here for some info on what the “free trial” might cost you.)

Some research: According to Wikipedia (don’t judge me – it’s HARD to find non-commercial information on this stuff!), research showed the antioxidant content of the acai berry juice to be lower than concord grape juice, pomegranate juice, blueberry juice and red wine. It was about the same as black cherry or cranberry juice but higher than orange juice, apple juice and tea.

So what does it all mean? Ever since Dr. Oz handed Oprah an acai berry smoothie, proclaiming it one of the healthiest foods on the planet, the internet has gone crazy with people trying to cash in.

Does the acai berry have antioxidant properties? Yes, apparently it does. Does it have significantly more health benefits than, say, blueberries (always a top-rated antioxidant)? Doesn’t appear to. Will I pay $40 for a bottle of acai berry juice? Not a chance in hell. I’d go with a nice bottle of red wine first.

When you cut through all the marketing hype, it seems to me the acai berry is no more or no less of a “superfood” than any other berry. Especially blueberries, which I can pick up at a reasonable price in any grocery store. If I didn’t have a black thumb, I could probably even grow them in my backyard.

So, for me, I’m not anxious to hop on this bandwagon. What about you? Have you tried it? If so, what did you think?