Crunch THIS!

Over the weekend, Mr. Jelly Belly and I were having a discussion on abs and whether crunches were the most effective way to develop a six-pack.

We were discussing this as we were eating foot-long Coney dogs at A&W. (It’s okay – we were on vacation.)

Anyway, he took exception to my comment that he would never have a six-pack because of his diet. As you may recall, he dislikes most vegetables and the only whole grain he will eat is brown rice. He lives for sugar and other simple carbs. Dorito’s anyone?

Frankly, I don’t give a rat’s rectum if he has a six-pack or not, but that seems to be really important to him. Probably to most men.

I had read once that abs were made in the kitchen. This means unless your diet is almost 100% “clean”, you can do crunches and squats until the proverbial cow comes home and you will never rock that six-pack.

Do you think this guy eats a Nutri-Grain bar and a Slim-Fast every day for breakfast and chomps on Cherry Twizzlers in the evening while watching Sports Center?

I think not.

I hate doing crunches – so I justify not doing them by proclaiming them totally unnecessary. Have you heard the expression, “Work smarter, not harder”? I really think this is true when it comes to fitness.

When my diet was clean and I worked out (only) three days a week, I can guarantee you there was no jelly in this belly. And I felt great.

I am not a bodybuilder. Nor do I have any aspirations in that direction. So why should I kill myself doing endless crunches and hours of cardio every week when I can get visible results by just tweaking my diet, spending 30 minutes or so strength training three times a week and hitting the freakin’ treadmill for as long as I can stand it (30 minutes tops) every day?

Giving up junk food is not easy. Saying “no” to sugar and white flour is even more difficult. I know this. But when you can totally feel the difference within just a couple of days, it starts getting easier and easier. Before long you realize you wouldn’t eat a donut if someone paid you to do it; it makes you feel that bad.

Mr. Jelly Belly doesn’t think he can do this. I think he can.

I think I can get him interested in a lower-carb lifestyle. Unlike me, he has amazing willpower, so I know if I find the right recipes and plan every bite he puts in his mouth for a week or two, he will see such a big difference in how he looks and, more importantly, how he feels, that he will get right on board.

He can be a tough nut to crack, but I know I can entice him with my wily ways. And bacon. Lots of bacon.

Soon, we will look like this:

Or something close to it.

Prepare to be ashamed of yourself

If you’ve been thinking you’re just getting too old to ever gain the strength you would like to have and to show off the physique you’ve always dreamed of, think again.

The woman in the picture is Morjorie Newlin, a woman who took up weight training in her 70’s all because she didn’t have the strength to lift the 50-pound bags of kitty litter she was buying for her cat.

In this picture she is 86 years old. Yes, that’s right, 86 years old. You’re looking more closely now, aren’t you? I know I did.

Although I figured out this story has been around for a couple of years, it’s new to me and I am in total awe – and amazed at what the human body is capable of when it’s not left to slowly rot away from disuse. I knew it was possible, but this one picture is worth a thousand words, no?

Sadly, Morjorie passed away in January of this year from leukemia, but not before she became a poster child for senior fitness.

You can read Morjorie’s full story, and the stories of other “old broads” here. And while you’re there, look around the site; there is a lot of fantastic information there.

I cannot think of even one excuse I can come up with that will hold water now.

Don't eat less...strength train more

As much as I have always despised exercise in general, and cardio in particular, I was surprised to find that I absolutely love strength training. The results are pretty quickly visible and only a minimal weekly investment of time is required.

Although all women can benefit from strength training, many are afraid of it. They look at the bulked up men at the gym, grunting loudly as they lift ridiculously heavy weights, and are basically afraid of two things: That they will "bulk up" in an unattractive way; and, that lifting weights is too hard and/or too complicated.

Let me put your fears to rest. Most women are genetically incapable of bulking up. They do not have enough natural testosterone in their bodies to do so. As a woman, you can lift weights until the cows come home and you will never look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in a dress. In fact, the more muscle you have, the better your curves will look.

Besides improving the appearance of your body there are other benefits associated with regular strength training, including increased bone density (a lower risk of osteoporosis), increased strength, and an increase in your resting metabolism rate (allows your body to burn calories even when you aren’t exercising).

Women do not have to lift weights in any “special” way. There is no difference between strength training for women and strength training for men. It is done the same way and gives the same results in terms of strength development.

Adding strength training to your routine is not time consuming. It can be done in as little as 20 to 30 minutes per day, two to three days per week.

If you are the type of person who enjoys going to the gym (I most definitely am not), you can make use of the weight training machines, or preferably, the free weights. Free weights can also be used at home, as can resistance bands. There are also a large variety of strength training videos available for home use.

If you’re still not convinced, ponder this: Women who do not strength train lose about five pounds of muscle every decade of their adult life. This leads to a slower metabolism and a gradual increase in fat weight (about 15 pounds per decade).

So what are you waiting for?