Review: Slim Shots

I don’t generally care for weight loss products. I feel like they prey on our desperation and never work as advertised. Perhaps you laid down a nice chunk of change on a super-duper mega fat blaster guaranteed to burn the fat while you sleep – only to find out you are expected to follow the “enclosed diet plan” – which was never mentioned in the advertising that sucked you in.

So I was borderline impressed with the presentation for the Slim Shots Appetite Controller (on QVC, natch). The very first thing they said was that it was only to be used in conjunction with a diet and exercise plan. They did not claim you could eat whatever you wanted and still lose weight. They made it very clear that this was a tool and not a miracle.

Well. I had to order it, didn’t I? Looking at those 15 flabby pounds I had to get rid of made this sound very appealing. And, like the Sensa debacle, I figured when it didn’t work, I would send it right back for a full refund.

The first claim they made was that it's an all-natural product. Well, I guess it is if you consider aspartame to be all-natural. Otherwise, it’s just a vanilla-flavored “proprietary blend” of oat and palm oils contained in pre-measured “shots” that look like coffee creamers. There are no stimulants, it's dairy-free and vegan-friendly, and each shot is about 20 calories.

The QVC package ($26.57 + shipping and handling) includes 37 shots, which I guess is 7 more than the usual. The idea is to do two shots a day for the first week (one with breakfast, one with lunch) and then one a day, as needed, thereafter.

Also included is a 14-Day Meal Planner which, I must admit, was based on a pretty reasonable and doable 1500-calorie a day diet (for women – it is suggested men add an additional 500 calories). Also included in the plan is a list of free foods and a (very short) 100-calorie snack list. Helpful.

Many of the reviewers on QVC had a problem with the taste of the shots – sending the product back because it was “so bad”. Poppycock! It wasn’t THAT awful. Is it delightful? No, but I didn’t expect it to be a taste treat. It does have a bit of a plastic flavor, but it wasn’t a deal breaker for me. Drink some water after you do the shot – you’ll get over it. Lord knows, I've put worse things in my mouth. :)

So I’ll bet you want to know if it really controlled my monster appetite, right? Well, surprisingly, yes it did! I took one with breakfast and one with lunch (noon) and would not be hungry again until 8:00 or 9:00 at night – so it did exactly what it said it would do and controlled my appetite for 8 hours.

Here’s the problem with that: I sometimes don’t like to be “bothered” with eating at night. I only have a few hours after work so I was thinking “cool…I don’t have to waste my time eating.” Bad plan. Because by the time 8:00 or 9:00 rolled around, I would be STARVING. Well, yeah, because I hadn’t eaten for 8 hours. Dumb.

When I got the idea that I should eat my dinner even if I wasn’t particularly hungry, things went much better. I was not famished when I got home from work, so I was able to eat a more reasonable dinner. And then I was fine for the rest of the night.

My overall feeling on these is that it’s a great way to get yourself started on a diet program. Many diets fail because it’s just too hard in the beginning dealing with the hunger as you drastically cut your food intake. Having this product to suppress your appetite while your body gets used to a new way of eating is a great idea. I don’t even think anyone who was actively and seriously dieting would need these beyond the first month. You should be “in the groove” by then, with your cravings under control. And I will admit that it worked a lot better in the first week than it did in the second – but it still worked. Maybe I just need two every day.

I’ve mentioned before that my biggest struggle is the afternoon. This really helped me get through that and be satisfied with one small snack. So I don’t think I’ll be getting anymore – but if that afternoon monster rears its ugly head again, I will.

So I think that’s everything. Oh, I believe you can also pick these up at Wal-Mart. Probably even on sale and with a coupon.

Well, my finger is bleeding all over my keyboard (food processor blade), so I guess I’d better go take care of that.

See you Friday with some skincare stuff (hold on to your wallet…this one is going to cost you)!

Sleep it off...

When I was a young and arrogantly thin girl of about 15, I went on a family vacation with a friend. We ate and ate and ate some more, with nary a concern for calories or fat content.

My friend’s grandmother looked at us one day while we were scarfing down even more vacation food and said, “I don’t know how you girls stay so thin…must be those late nights and lack of sleep.”

Wow. You should be really careful about what you say to impressionable girls. I mean, seriously, Grandma’s mouth to God’s ear. I took this as the True Secret of Weight Loss. Don’t sleep. Because one doesn’t question the wisdom of the Ancient or ask for scientific proof of her claim, I didn’t know she was talking straight out of her ass.

Of course, looking back, my guess is that the reason we stayed so thin while consuming vast amounts of food was because we spent the hours between meals walking, walking, walking…scouting out secure locations in the woods to smoke our cigarettes and drink our pilfered liquor. And then we would walk some more, looking for boys. (That didn’t change much over the years: Add liquor, look for boys.) Our 15-year-old metabolisms probably helped, too.

I am almost ashamed to admit how long I kept that little weight-loss pearl in my head. Every time I thought I need to drop five pounds, I would sleep about 3 hours a night. It seemed to work. Probably because I was such a zombie I didn’t have the energy to lift a fork.

As it turns out, people who sleep the least are often the most overweight. Why is that? According to research, hormones play a big role in sleep and appetite. There are two hormones specifically linked to appetite - ghrelin, which is produced in the gastrointestinal tract and stimulates the appetite, and leptin, produced in fat cells, which sends a signal to the brain when you are full.

In these studies, when sleep was severely restricted, leptin levels went down and ghrelin levels went up. The study participants’ experienced increased appetites and their desire for high carbohydrate, calorie-dense foods increased by 45%. They also had a higher level of body fat than those who slept eight hours per night.

Pretty interesting – for a science thing. Of course, an argument could be made for my non-scientific feeling that, if you’re sleeping, you’re not eating. If I am staying up late, I am probably going to get hungry around 11:00 pm. Four or five hours after a “reasonable” dinner? Yeah. I’m going to need something. And I am probably going to need something quick, convenient, and loaded with carbs. If there is cake around the house, that’s what I’m hitting. But if I go to bed at 9:30 or 10:00? I’m avoiding several hundred calories. And lots of sugar.

When I was diligently counting points on Weight Watchers, I always went to bed when my points ran out. Less chance of getting hungry again and not being able to do anything about it. Sometimes that put me in bed at 7:30 but, whatever – it worked.

Eight hours of sleep during the week sometimes seems impossible – but if you shoot for at least six, you should get the same benefit. And make it up on the weekends. Not much in life better than an afternoon nap, is there?

I'm having a pity party...care to join me?

Here’s a shocking revelation for you: Losing weight is hard. Tough to believe, I know.

Being successful at weight loss takes a lot of work and a ton of motivation. Oh, and self-control. None of these things are areas in which I excel. But, three years ago, I did it.

I adjusted quite nicely to dieting after the first few weeks – as my body got used to a new way of eating and the cravings lessened, it got easier. Every time the numbers on the scale got lower, my motivation increased. I got good at learning what my body liked and what it hated. At knowing which food combinations would accelerate the weight loss and which ones would stall it. I was rocking that scale, hoping for a twenty-five pound loss, but praying for forty. I took up strength training and forced myself to do the damn cardio.

Finally, after six months, forty-five pounds were gone. I went from a size 12 to a thrilling size 4. And I felt good about that; I felt good about myself.

It got so easy to lose (yes, really) that I had to force myself to stop. I had to find out how to work just enough calories in to maintain the weight loss without gaining. And there, my friends, is where it got tricky.

Research indicates that 80% of people who lose weight will regain it within a year. Eighty percent. And that figure is regardless of how the weight was lost in the first place. How disheartening.

I was determined I would not be one of those people. I would not ever be seriously overweight again. It was too much work to get to a healthy weight and I am too lazy to have to do it all again.

But then there were vacations and dinners out and parties and nights I was too tired to cook. Exercising took too much effort and slowly faded away. It seemed okay to just “take a break”. Well, it wasn’t okay. I am clearly not the type of person who can take a break. When it comes to eating, I have learned that I’m an all or nothing kind of person. I threw away the “nothing” and embraced the “all” with abandon.

Did you know that embracing the “all” with abandon is not a good idea? No, really. It will make you fat. And it will make you fat a whole lot faster than embracing the “nothing” will make you thin.

This is where my pity party comes in. Over the last two years, the weight has been slowly creeping back on. I say to myself, “nip it in the bud”. Yes. That’s what I’ll do. Tomorrow.

But that “tomorrow” becomes “next Monday”, which becomes “right after the holiday”, which becomes “at the beginning of the month” or whatever other delay tactic I can use. Now there is no longer a bud to nip. It’s a full-blown weed. And a big one.

Honestly, I eat reasonably well during the week. But the weekends? Forget about it. I’m a mess. I haven’t gained all the weight back, thankfully, but I’ve regained 15 pounds of it. (And that's down from a sob-inducing 19, so I should be grateful.)

Fifteen pounds doesn’t sound huge, I know, but it’s Too Much. I am not a large person, so that 15 extra pounds is enough to make me seriously uncomfortable. My clothes are waaaay too tight and buying new ones that fit correctly is a challenge I am not happy about having to undertake. So I won’t. Besides, how soon will it be before that 15 pounds becomes 25? Too soon, I’m sure.

So now I have to figure out how to get my dieting mojo back and get this done. Dieting was something I never wanted to do again. I wanted to consistently eat well and exercise regularly to keep the pounds from coming back. Yeah. That plan’s not working for me.

I have learned some things about myself and my relationship with food that I need to take seriously. For the rest of my life. If I don’t, I will be fat. And uncomfortable. And I will not like myself.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been sitting around on my dimpled ass feeling sorry for myself because, no matter how much I want it to be true, I’m not the type of person who can eat Whatever, Whenever. That’s just a fact.

I know my thyroid issues make it harder for me to lose weight. I also know it doesn’t make it impossible.

I know I can never eat sugar or white flour again. In fact, all processed foods are iffy. I know that bread and crackers, even when they are made with the wholest of whole grains, are like poison to my system. All of these things make me bloat and gain weight and feel miserable. Even when they are eaten in moderation. As if I know about moderation.

I know that no matter how hard I try, I cannot regain my youth and the strong metabolism that went along with it.

I know that crying about the unfairness of it all while eating a handful of barbecued chips isn’t going to make me thinner.

I know that I have to exercise. I know that to say, “I don’t have the time” is to really say, “I don’t want to.”

I know that I don’t want to be included in those failed weight loss statistics.

I know that I can do it.

I know that it’s worth it.

So please bear with me as I get this done. I’m whiny and depressed and bloated. But that may just be the sugar talking. I’ll feel better soon. When the back fat is gone.

Why 6 meals are better than 3

Three squares a day. That’s what most of us grew up with and that’s what society tends to be geared toward. Most of us have eating patterns that involve skipping breakfast, eating a big lunch, and rushing home to huge dinner. In between? Snack, snack, snack.

Some people are very in tune with their bodies’ hunger and full signals. They know when they should eat, what their body needs and when they should stop shoveling it in.

I am not one of those people. I totally stink at stopping when I am full and have been a lifetime member of the Clean Plate Club. The Big Fat Overfull Plate. Switching to six mini meals per day really helped me to get my eating under control. Oh, and it stopped me from feeling like a total slug after every meal.

Learning about how to effectively feed your body every few hours can stabilize your blood sugar and keep your metabolism revved up. And that keeps your body at its maximum fat-burning capacity every day. It also eliminates that feeling we get five hours after lunch that we will just DIE if we don’t eat a whole pig RIGHT NOW.

When you will eat these six meals, and what they will consist of, will vary based on your own body AND your schedule. I’ve mentioned before that I have some trouble with getting a mini meal in during the afternoon because eating at your desk is a big “no no” where I work – so sometimes the general “rules” of 6 mini meals need to be tweaked to accommodate those kinds of things. Or sometimes you just have to learn how to hide your food.

For example, most experts on this subject say to eat as soon as you wake up. For me, that’s just not going to happen. My first meal happens about two hours AFTER my coffee, and then I go every couple of hours from there.

So because I am generally less hungry in the morning, constantly hungry in the afternoon, and rarely hungry in the evening, my six meals, during the week, typically look something like this:

9:00 am – Oatmeal, or yogurt mixed with ½ cup of Fiber One cereal
11:00 am – truthfully, this is usually just a banana to hold me over until lunch
12:00 pm – Huge salad with chicken, lettuce, spinach and at least two other vegetables
2:00 pm – Varies, but generally fruit and yogurt
3:30 pm – A sandwich! You can shove lots of good stuff into a low carb, whole grain tortilla.
6:00 pm – Meat, poultry or fish, a whole grain, lots of cooked vegetables

(I’m not going to lie to you – these days, my meals on the weekend are a lot less regimented. A lot. It’s something I’m working on.)

There are a lot of different factors that might make your six meals look different than mine. People who weigh more and people who work out more will probably eat a totally different configuration, but the goal is the same: To consume the same number of calories you would by eating three meals a day, but spreading them out over six.

If you were to Google “Six meals a day” you would find lots of advice on how to “correctly” distribute your meals. Mine may not be exactly correct, but it’s what works for me. The important thing is to ensure you get a good mix of protein, complex carbohydrates and healthy fats, while also working in at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables.

Yes, six meals a day requires a little planning. But only in the beginning. It starts to get easier as you go along and figure out what YOUR body needs. The increased energy and steady blood sugar will make it all worth it. Really.

Tuesday Tidbits: Craving 911

One of the tricks to keeping our sanity while trying to lose a few pounds is finding healthier substitutes for the foods that made us chubby in the first place.

I ran across this Craving 911 tool over at the Good Housekeeping site that offers healthier alternatives for the “bad stuff” you might be craving. It doesn't have a TON of options, but it's kind of fun.

For example, I have really been craving an apple pie lately (yes, I said “an apple pie” not “a piece of apple pie”), so I selected “apple pie” from the drop-down menu and was given this alternative:

Cinnamon Apple Delight

Core a cooking apple (about 6 ounces), and peel one third of the way. Sprinkle the top with cinnamon, nutmeg, and 1 teaspoon of brown sugar. Cook in the microwave, covered, on medium-high (70% power) for 2 to 3 minutes, or until tender.

Apple Pie: 295 calories and 14 grams of fat

Cinnamon Apple Delight: 115 calories, less than 1 g fat

Savings: 180 calories and 13 grams of fat

Cool. That’ll work. But maybe I’ll crumble a Vanilla Wafer over the top.

Cocktails, anyone?

I’m still out of town, but I thought I’d set this up to auto-publish while I was gone so you could get an idea of how I’m spending my weekend.

Even when we’re dieting, we need to let loose and have a little fun. And if your idea of fun involves alcohol, I’ve looked into some of the lower calorie options. Let’s start with my drink of choice – beer. Bud Lite is my personal favorite, but it’s not the lowest calorie option. Here’s how a few lite beers compare:

Michelob Ultra (4.2% alcohol): 95 calories per 12-ounce serving; 2.6 grams of carbs and .6 grams of protein.

Bud Lite (4.2% alcohol): 110 calories per 12-ounce serving; 6.6 grams of carbs; .9 grams of protein. This is almost identical to Miller Genuine Draft Lite.

MGD 64 (2.8% alcohol; I just KNEW there was a catch): 64 calories per 12 ounce-serving; 2.2 grams of carbs; 0 protein. I’m not really a fan of Miller Genuine Draft, in any configuration, but if saving the 50 or so calories per beer (or maybe 500 calories over the course of the evening – I don’t know your drinking habits) is important to you, then this is not really all THAT bad. I know a couple of people who do like it, so don’t take my word for it; give it a try. (You could burn off the calories from this beer by grooming farm animals for 10 minutes. Seriously. True fact according to The Daily Plate.)

If beer’s not for you, how about wine? A 5-ounce glass, either red or white, contains 14% alcohol and about 120 calories. And that white wine in the box? Only 90 calories and 12.5% alcohol. So if you’re drinking at home (in the dark, huddled behind the couch) where none of your high-brow friends can see you, then have at it!

Vodka is a nice choice when it comes to liquor – 98 calories for a 1.5 ounce shot and it mixes well with so many things. I always kid myself that adding juice to my vodka makes it a health drink, so how about some diet cranberry juice (5 calories)? Of course, adding a diet tonic (0 calories) is also a good option, just not as healthy! Or you could get all crazy and mix that vodka with sugar-free Red Bull (10 calories) to put a little zip in your evening.

And straight vodka never hurt anyone, especially now that Absolut has so many great flavors available. Absolut Vanilla? Only 68 calories per ounce. Delicious after dinner. Or before.

Rum and Diet Coke. A 1.5 ounce shot of Captain Morgan’s is only 86 calories (compared to regular rum, which is about 98). And most bars will have Diet Coke, even if they don’t have other diet mixers.

What will I be having? Bud Lite for sure. I’m classy like that. And I’ll probably be throwing in the occasional Bacardi and Diet Coke. And if Mr. Jelly Belly is trying to get me a little tipsy totally wasted [I can’t imagine why he keeps doing this, especially since that time I threw up on his shoes…well, I DO know why, but this is a PG-13 blog so use your imagination], there will probably be a couple of shots involved. Hot Damn, anyone?

What are your choices for low-cal alcoholic drinks? I’m always on the lookout for something alcoholically interesting...

Don't drive yourself bloody neurotic

I came across a link to this video, "Five Steps to a Beach Body" by Mark Bailey that offers some simple advice to healthier eating. It seems a little long, but it goes fast (eye candy) plus some of the stuff he says made me laugh (he uses the word "crap" almost as much as I do). And it just makes sense.

Breakfast: Just do it

There are many people who think skipping breakfast is a good way to lose weight. I used to be a breakfast skipper. Coffee, coffee and more coffee. Oh, and then I had some coffee. And did I mention I also used to be a lot fatter?

When you don’t eat breakfast, you could be putting 15 to 20 hours between meals. It’s like fasting. And not in a good way. Skipping breakfast will almost certainly send you into “starvation eating” later in the day. And did you know that eating breakfast kickstarts your metabolism? I don’t know about you, but I like to give this old metabolism a good kick every chance I get.

There have been a lot of studies done that have shown people who eat a healthy breakfast are less likely to be overweight than those who don’t. And eating breakfast is a common trait among people who have lost weight and successfully kept it off. Researchers also found that people who ate breakfast tended to eat less calories overall throughout the rest of the day.

So I don’t think I have to tell you that you should avoid sugary stuff like donuts and pastries for breakfast, right? RIGHT? Sure, they taste great, but they are not going to stick with you. They are digested really quickly and you end up hungry and tired. I can’t begin to tell you how many naps I’ve had to take due to donut overload.

Optimally, you want to get some protein and some fiber into your breakfast so that you can stay fuller longer and not be starving by lunch time. Eggs and a whole grain English muffin, of course. Oatmeal with fruit and walnuts. A high fiber cereal, like Fiber One, mixed with yogurt or sugar-free, non-fat pudding. Cottage cheese and fruit. A hard boiled egg, an orange and about 10 almonds will do it. If it seems like too much for your delicate morning tummy, don’t eat it all at once. I always have some fruit about two hours after my oatmeal. Split it up. It’s okay.

Don’t like breakfast foods? So who says you have to eat traditional breakfast foods? No one is going to force you to eat eggs or cereal for breakfast if you don’t like those things. Have a sandwich. Have some shrimp and pasta. Have some leftover Cauliflower Crust Pizza, for pete’s sake. What you eat isn’t as important as the just eating part. One of my favorite non-traditional, run-out-the-door things to eat is peanut butter and banana on a whole grain tortilla. Don’t laugh – it’s really good!

So what did you have for breakfast today?

Is your brain telling you to overeat?

Sometime around 1989, I worked for a company where the new owner, a very petite woman, began “cleaning house” when she took over by eliminating many of the employees who came with the purchase and bringing in new employees of her own choosing. Not all that unusual, except the employees she fired were all overweight - and the ones she brought in were not. As one of the new employees she brought in, I felt just awful about all these really nice people who were losing their jobs. I felt even worse when I was told, in confidence, by another employee that the new owner did not like overweight people. She felt being overweight showed a lack of self-control and discipline and those were not the kind of people she wanted working for her.

Sadly, I don’t think this attitude is all that uncommon.

There is some new research being done by an international team co-led by the University of Michigan that suggests some people may just be genetically predisposed to overeating. Being overweight, in many cases, may have absolutely nothing to do with self-discipline. As you know, I’m no scientist and find some most all science to be strictly dullsville, but I find this fascinating.

What it boils down to is this: The research team “found six new genes that help explain body mass index and obesity, and all but one of the genes are tied to the brain rather than to metabolic functions, such as fat storage and sugar metabolism.” So the scientists look at these things when they are trying to develop new drugs and determining where in the body they want them to act.

Now here’s the part of the research that might make you wet your pants. SH2B1 (quite the catchy name) was first discovered by U-M researchers studying mice. The researchers created an obese mouse then returned it to its normal weight by turning on the SH2B1 gene in the brain.

Let me repeat that in case you were skimming and missed it: The researchers created an obese mouse then returned it to its normal weight by turning on the SH2B1 gene in the brain. Holy crap. TURN ME ON ALREADY!

Oh, and I’m curious to know if they turned that SH2B1 gene back on by sprinkling Sensa on the tiny little bowls of mouse food. The article wasn’t clear.

I would like to say I’m genetically predisposed to overeating, but I think the truth is that I often lack self-control in that area. When I really work at it, I don’t overeat.

How about you? If you have (or had) a weight problem, do you feel overeating is something you might be “hardwired” to do, or do you honestly feel it’s something you could control if you worked harder?

You can read the whole (short) article here, written by someone who understood what the heck they were talking about.

'Tis the season to be gorging...fa la la la la, la la la la

It’s that time of year again, campers! The time when friends, family and even casual acquaintances all show their appreciation for you with gifts of food. As you smile and thank the giver for the sugar and fat-laden packages of deliciousness, you silently vow to hand it all over, untouched, to less health-conscious family members. But do you?

On the one hand, those gifts of food are the very gifts I used to look forward to in years past. Oh how I loved it all. Especially fruitcake. Yes. Really.

One particular co-worker used to make everyone large gift bags of homemade jams and breads - and it was a gift that was eagerly anticipated. I especially couldn’t wait to shove the little pumpkin loaves into my pie hole. Despite all of my resolve, that beautiful gift bag was always the start of a sugar binge that would last from Christmas Eve until New Year’s Day.

Because, what the heck? That’s what January’s for, right? To get back on track and forget about the dietary transgressions of the previous two months. I have to confess, I am already in that, “oh, what the heck” mode. January is just around the corner. How much damage can I do in just a couple of more weeks?

The extra damage is exactly what I’m afraid of.

This past year has been such a struggle for me. Wavering between getting my weight back under control and giving in to all the food that I love but know I need to avoid. And the scale is showing which side of that struggle is winning.

In the course of a year, I have gone from not worrying about that extra five pounds, to cringing at the extra ten, to wanting to shoot myself over the extra 15. That 15 pounds was the “cushion” I gave myself when I was on Weight Watchers. Fifteen pounds below my stated goal weight - so that I would be able to catch and stop any gains before I got totally out of control.

And now I’m totally out of control - and berating myself with woulda-shoulda-coulda.

So I am declaring today MY January 1st. If I can get through the next two weeks without adding any extra pounds, then I think those ugly 15 should be a piece of cake tilapia.

I already know where my social obligations are and I am planning around them. I know to avoid the kitchen at work for the next week when the food gifts from vendors will be at their peak. I know to plan every single meal and every single snack, eating every two hours or so to keep the temptation at a minimum.

I am keeping my head full of the images of a stomach that isn’t bloated and a bra strap that doesn’t have fat swelled up around it. And because I am cheap, I am also remembering that I gave away all of my jeans in the next size up. I DO NOT want to buy more jeans for a fatter me.

And, mostly, I am remembering that there is not even ONE food item so extraordinarily special that I must eat it now or forever lose the opportunity. They will all be around again next year. And the year after.

If I am lucky enough to live to be 70, I am going to be such a porker, you cannot even imagine. But, until then, I am going to be very careful with the empty calorie foods. So I’m off to hit the treadmill, then make my grocery list. And work on my resolve to stick to it.

And how are YOU handling the food aspect of this holiday season?

Artificial Sweeteners: Hero or Villain?

There are those who claim that aspartame (Nutra-Sweet, Equal) and sucralose (Splenda) are the cause of a huge list of health disorders. I find it hard to believe that one chemical, by itself, could cause so much damage when used in moderation (although I am watching aspartame as another possible migraine trigger).

I hear so much about the dangers of artificial sweeteners that I sometimes think I should give it up, along with foods containing refined sugars or high fructose corn syrup. But, because I’m the type of person who rarely adds sugar to anything, is it necessary? Would I be consuming enough of these things to make avoidance of the occasional “sweet treat” worth it?

Is it the artificial sweeteners themselves that are a danger to dieters – or the types of food in which they are contained? Sugar-free cookies are still cookies. And whether those cookies contain a zero-calorie artificial sweetener, refined sugar, or organic sugar, the other ingredients around the sugar still contain empty calories. Follow me?

I tend to buy sugar-free products – not necessarily for dietary reasons, but because the ingestion of sugar makes me feel kind of poopy and sends me straight to the couch for a nap.

So where is my artificial sugar intake? Pudding, jell-o, sugar-free maple syrup, DaVinci Gourmet flavored syrups, and the occasional brown sugar Splenda on sweet potatoes or oatmeal. I don’t eat any of these things on a daily basis.

Where I don’t add sugar: Coffee, tea, cereal. And I rarely have a soft drink – maybe one glass every two or three months. When I’m hungover.

Things I enjoy that are sweet enough without ANY added sugar: Strawberries, bananas, grapes, watermelon, apples, unsweetened fruit juice and applesauce.

Sugar in any form is one of those things that becomes an addiction – the more you have, the more your body craves. And the funny thing? The more fruit I have, the more I crave. Point being? Once I started eating at least five servings of fruits and vegetables daily (usually two fruits and three to five vegetables), the refined sugar cravings pretty much went away. I started to crave the fruit instead.

Plus, eating all those fruits and vegetables takes time. Especially if the vegetables are raw. Chew, chew, chew. You hardly have time to run out and find some sugar. And if I DO get a craving for something sweet? Sugar-free jell-o to the rescue. Artificial sweetener and all. Saved me many times from grabbing a cookie or four. Or a pumpkin pie. And, my friends, I think that’s a GOOD thing.


Some related links:

An interesting table of sugar alternatives

An article on 124 reasons to avoid sugar

Crunch THIS!

Over the weekend, Mr. Jelly Belly and I were having a discussion on abs and whether crunches were the most effective way to develop a six-pack.

We were discussing this as we were eating foot-long Coney dogs at A&W. (It’s okay – we were on vacation.)

Anyway, he took exception to my comment that he would never have a six-pack because of his diet. As you may recall, he dislikes most vegetables and the only whole grain he will eat is brown rice. He lives for sugar and other simple carbs. Dorito’s anyone?

Frankly, I don’t give a rat’s rectum if he has a six-pack or not, but that seems to be really important to him. Probably to most men.

I had read once that abs were made in the kitchen. This means unless your diet is almost 100% “clean”, you can do crunches and squats until the proverbial cow comes home and you will never rock that six-pack.

Do you think this guy eats a Nutri-Grain bar and a Slim-Fast every day for breakfast and chomps on Cherry Twizzlers in the evening while watching Sports Center?

I think not.

I hate doing crunches – so I justify not doing them by proclaiming them totally unnecessary. Have you heard the expression, “Work smarter, not harder”? I really think this is true when it comes to fitness.

When my diet was clean and I worked out (only) three days a week, I can guarantee you there was no jelly in this belly. And I felt great.

I am not a bodybuilder. Nor do I have any aspirations in that direction. So why should I kill myself doing endless crunches and hours of cardio every week when I can get visible results by just tweaking my diet, spending 30 minutes or so strength training three times a week and hitting the freakin’ treadmill for as long as I can stand it (30 minutes tops) every day?

Giving up junk food is not easy. Saying “no” to sugar and white flour is even more difficult. I know this. But when you can totally feel the difference within just a couple of days, it starts getting easier and easier. Before long you realize you wouldn’t eat a donut if someone paid you to do it; it makes you feel that bad.

Mr. Jelly Belly doesn’t think he can do this. I think he can.

I think I can get him interested in a lower-carb lifestyle. Unlike me, he has amazing willpower, so I know if I find the right recipes and plan every bite he puts in his mouth for a week or two, he will see such a big difference in how he looks and, more importantly, how he feels, that he will get right on board.

He can be a tough nut to crack, but I know I can entice him with my wily ways. And bacon. Lots of bacon.

Soon, we will look like this:

Or something close to it.

Don't ask me why...I don't know

There were two rather surprising things that I discovered about the types of things that seemed to facilitate weight loss for me. Naturally, your mileage may vary but, still, I must absolutely insist you keep an open mind.

The first was dairy products. No. Really. Now quit rolling your eyes and just listen. The only reason I got involved with a daily dose of dairy was due to the Weight Watchers’ requirement to get in two dairy servings per day. I’m not much of a milk drinker, and my beloved cheese would use up far too many of my paltry daily allotment of points, so I started having a Weight Watchers’ Smoothie every night after dinner.

The Smoothie mix is a powder, similar to Carnation Instant Breakfast (or Alba), and only available (at an obscenely inflated price) at Weight Watcher meeting locations. I combined the powder with one cup of skim milk, a half cup of fruit and ice. Not only would I have a delicious milkshake, but I was able to fulfill both the dairy and one of the fruit requirements. And it really seemed to make a difference in my weight loss efforts. I don’t know WHY it did, nor do I care, but I’m telling you, IT DID!

However, since I have no intention of getting myself involved in the Great Dairy Debate, I will instead totally shift gears and talk about the second item, Vitamin B12, and what I’ve learned about why it works.

While there is no proof that Vitamin B12 will help you to lose weight, there has been some research indicating it can stop you from gaining it. Some people feel it is the energy boost you can get from B12 that causes you to get up and moving and that is why it works. Hah! I laugh in the collective faces of these misguided people. I have yet to find any product, including mega-doses of B12, that will get this old slug up and moving.

The truth, as I understand it, is that B12 boosts your metabolism. This means that your food will digest faster and you will burn more calories – even when you’re just sitting on your arse watching “Deal or No Deal”. And this is why I love it.

I bought some great multi-vitamins from QVC that come in different formulations for men and women and for those under or over 50. Not only were the daily doses nicely packaged in little cellophane bags for convenience, but the over 50 formulation contains 600 mcg of B12, or 10,000% of your required daily value. B12 is water-soluble, so you can’t take “too much;" any excess that your system doesn’t use is simply excreted.

If you prefer to get your vitamins from food sources, B12 can be found in most foods of animal origin, including clams, salmon, bass, beef, chicken, oysters, yogurt, eggs and cottage cheese. It is also found in soy milk products and vegetarian burgers.

It never hurts to take a multi-vitamin, especially if you’re restricting your food intake, so why not throw in some extra B12 and see if it doesn’t work for you? You might be pleasantly surprised.

Time to eat?

I once watched a program, probably on Discovery Health, that told the stories of three different people and how they all used different means to lose over 100 pounds. I can’t really remember two of them, but one of them really stuck in my head. She played around with when to eat her biggest meal until she found out what worked for her – and then she made her whole family conform to that. In the morning, before the kids went to school and hubby went to work, the whole family sat down and ate a large dinner. Then lunch was a little lighter and in the evening they ate a light breakfast.

This got me to thinking about my hunger patterns and how I used to totally ignore them because having our biggest meal in the evening is just how it’s done.

Before I started Weight Watchers, I never ate breakfast. Before noon, it was strictly coffee for me. Unless of course there were Krispy Kremes in the break room at work – in which case I was definitely eating.

Then for lunch, when I was starving, I would fast-food it – usually going to Burger King which was closest and getting a double cheeseburger and a very large order of onion rings. With the dipping sauce, of course. Every single day. The thought of that makes me just a tad nauseous now. Then there would be junk food in the afternoon, followed by dinner, the biggest, most fat-laden, carb-heavy meal of the day. Yes, usually even more so than those double cheeseburgers.

Sheesh. Is it any wonder I got so huge? All that nutritionally bankrupt food was spiking my blood sugar up and down all day long, making me constantly hungry. No, not hungry, ravenous. I couldn’t stop eating.

Then when I started Weight Watchers, all of my eating habits changed. And not just what I was eating, but how I was eating it. I started eating a light breakfast every day and would spread my lunch out over the course of the afternoon. For example, I would eat a big salad at noon, melba toast and Laughing Cow cheese at 2:00, and raw vegetables or a big bowl of strawberries at 3:30 or 4:00.

By the time I got home by 6:00, I just didn’t feel like having a big meal. I was surprised to find I really only wanted something light for dinner, usually a small piece of fish or chicken with a side of stir-fried vegetables.

Now I eat like this all the time. The people at work, who I’ve mentioned before, love to make comments on my big old bag o’food that I haul into work every day. But that whole bag (which includes my breakfast) probably doesn’t have more than 700 calories in it. And I am happy all day.

So I think that woman on the Discovery Health Channel was really onto something. Paying attention to your body’s signals can really help you to see at which time of the day you need to eat heavier and at what time you need to eat lighter.

But I have to wonder how she managed to get her family’s body signals on the same wavelength as hers. I just can’t see that ever happening in the Jelly Belly household.

The Holy 8

One of the most important aspects of either WW plan (Flex or Core) is following the 8 Good Health Guidelines. The Guidelines are as follows:

1. Eat at least five servings of vegetables and fruits each day.
2. Choose whole-grain foods, such as brown rice and oats, whenever possible.
3. Include two servings of milk products – low fat (1%) or fat-free – each day.
4. Have some healthy oil (olive oil, canola, sunflower, safflower or flaxseed) each day.
5. Ensure that you are getting enough protein by choosing at least a serving or two of meat, poultry, fish, eggs, or dried beans each day. Many dairy products are also good sources of protein.
6. Limit added sugar and alcohol.
7. Drink at least 6 8-ounce glasses of water a day.
8. Take a multiple vitamin-mineral supplement each day.

Using these guidelines as a basis for planning your meals makes everything come together so much more smoothly. This week I have been strictly following the guidelines, making sure that I get them all in, and not worrying so much about points or calories. Once they’re all in, I feel pretty satisfied but I also know there is still room left for a snack if I need one.

This is why I have never understood why they are so rarely even mentioned during Weight Watchers meetings.

If I was a WW Leader, I would be shoving these guidelines down the collective throats of meeting attendees at every possible opportunity (imagine flash cards and repetitive drills and perhaps a well-placed wooden ruler to the hand). I would gently remind them to eat junk food only if and when the guidelines had been fulfilled. I would discourage conversations that dwelled on how to get the greatest amount of junk food into your day while using the fewest number of points.

I would probably eventually be talking to myself after the class makes a mass exodus to Super Wal-Mart to load up on Weight Watchers' 1 point, 1 inch chocolate cakes.

Ding! Ding! Your order's up!

I would like to preface this post by saying that Mr. Jelly Belly is the world’s greatest and most supportive husband. However, that being said, he does tend to be my dietary cross to bear.

You see, Mr. Jelly Belly is a finicky eater. And “finicky” may be too mild of a term for the type of eater he is. He eats exactly two vegetables: peas and corn. But not together – perish the thought. He likes peas with specific meats and corn with specific meats. Heaven forbid I should try to serve pork with corn. Pork is a “pea” meat. He tells me I can easily remember this by putting the “p’s” together. Pork-peas. Get it? He’s so helpful.

He has an allergy to, supposedly, all things from the sea, although I seriously doubt he would allow fish to taint his plate even if there weren’t an allergy issue to blame.

He doesn’t like soup, he hates multi-grain breads (white bread only, please; wheat “tastes funny”) and there is not one single fruit that he will eat. Unless you count applesauce.

He turns up his nose at the suggestion of trying new foods. He would eat a salad, but only if it consists solely of iceberg lettuce drowned in French dressing. Period. He hates the idea of replacing ground beef with turkey and thinks anything labeled “organic” is suspect.

All of this tends to make cooking for the two of us a bit of a challenge.

For a long time while I was changing my eating habits, I made two separate dinners every night. For example, fish, couscous and stir-fried vegetables for me; steak, fried potatoes and corn for him – and do you have any of that Italian bread handy?

This worked for quite a while because I was so determined to lose weight and to eat better that I was happy to make myself something else so that I didn’t fall into my previous bad overeating habits.

Eventually this got old and I stopped making something different for myself. And what do you suppose happened?

A gold star for you if you guess that I started falling back into the old eating habits. Because I’m lazy and it was less work. And when you fall back into old eating habits, what happens? That’s right, you gain weight. And what happens when Mrs. Jelly Belly starts gaining back all that hard lost weight? She develops a really bad attitude, that’s what happens.

So it is with a clogged and heavy heart that I announce the grand re-opening of Mrs. Jelly Belly’s short order diner. I know I can’t continue to eat the way I have been eating so I’m officially flipping over the “Open” sign.

PS: Yes, yes…I suppose I could get hard-nosed about it and tell him to make his own damned dinner every night, but I wouldn’t want to do that to the poor can’t-boil-water guy. Besides, when we got married, we kind of had an understanding of who was going to do what and I happily took on the cooking responsibilities. Of course, I also took on the laundry responsibilities and I haven’t washed towels or underwear in years.